Listening I am, to the words they say. Aware I am, of the trap they have set for me. Trapped I am, holding on to the one track they have forced me to follow. But here I am – Standing. Standing where I have always been. Questioned by every pair of eyes. I see the brows raising to every word I speak. I see the pleasure they find to see me keeping quiet. I see the bliss in the eye whenever I fall short.  Cornered in the chamber of viciousness, wanting to see the silver in the gray cloud, I stand at a cross-way, waiting for the light that never comes.  pexels-photo-756774.jpeg

I am a person who has always been an admirer of music. It has always been an inspiration for me to keep moving forward. But for some reason that I do not know, I seem to be appreciating the minor chords a lot more these days. Is it normal for a human to do that?  Or is it me again who’s stacking up the problems that are so unnecessary?


Why does it feel that I am walking on the roads untraveled? And this happens to me in a time when I have the most regular routine a man can have at my age:   Work – Eat – Sleep. But what is it that keeps me awake at this hour? What is it that pushes me to put-in the extra bit of effort?

I have always been a staunch believer of Utopia. Life to me is a journey, a voyage to paradise –  A place where “All Is Well”.  Just like any other journey that you travel, you have to invest some of the energy, your hard work into it. This is what provokes me to burn the mid-night oil at the workplace.

So here I am. Waiting to see into the light from the darkness. Call me crazy, maniac or a lunatic, but I won’t stop for the fear of pain. To the bliss of life, I agree to hold the bull by its horn. I don’t really care how far can my strength take me into the war-zone, but I will rejoice every step that I take.




The two faces

They say it is cruel world outside. Maybe that is true, but the lines must be read between those words. There is a fact that remains concealed with the statement. An indication that tells that the world outside is cruel, as compared to the on inside. The faces of the coin that do really exist, regardless of what our opinion might be. Maybe we can’t see that at all times but there are always a white side to each dark patch.

At the same time there is darkness inside of us all. And we must not ignore it. It is acceptance that could bring in a change. Extending to what the Imagine Dragons said, it is not a problem if there is a monster inside. The problem begins if you ignore the fight to let your goodness overcome it.

Life is a wave that comes with the crests and toughs- always equal in number. Your initial stand doesn’t really matter.  All that does is the belief that you can overcome the lows and shall not remain with the happiness at all times.

Time and Again

Its always the one question that keeps bothering me all the time. Every now and then, a new format, a new situation, a new angle or a new perspective to ask the same thing .

Standing in the boulevard I see a bird leaving its nest, somehow it motivates me,  to look up to the challenges , of the world outside.To get out there searching for food(necessities), to get out there facing the real world hardships, to face fear and pain,  to understand that it is the insects that I feed on, not the lion.Basically, to understand that I do have limits.  I see the question asked yet again: What are those? What are those limits that I have.

Is it in the skill that I posses to write a piece of code? Or is it in the ability to tackle the tester that claims to find a bug? Is it in the ability to play music, or may be the ability to go to the astral dimension once I hear a musical masterpiece?

Is it the lack of confidence that keeps me doubting the quality of whatever I do? Is it the fear of missing out that drives me into gatherings where I am not even comfortable?

Whenever I come across this state of mind, the only thing that comes to my mind is this lovely quote:


It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.

-Albus Dumbledore, from Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets

Yes its true that I don’t know what all can I do. But,I shall never chose to say no to a question that says – “Can you do it”? May be I can’t but there nothing but failure that could determine that. And in case if you don’t know that I fail only when I quit, that hasn’t been the case so far.

Staying up late this night, revisiting a habit to find optimism by my own writings, here I am – Ready to face whatever life has to offer.

Time for another extract:

I swear I’ll take it one step at a time

I maybe two miles outta line

I take the trash out of my mind

I do it one day at a time

TVF Pitchers OST – “One Step At A Time”

I don’t know if I could have a great end to the story of life, but I am toiling hard to create plenty of fabulous beginnings.

The Inception

So it began. A Josephite (In case you don’t know it already, a Josephite is someone who studied in St. Josephs College – Allahabad) called Prateek, steps into his college life.  A journey that has been anticipated so much, has shown a faint glimpse of its arrival. Strange yet true, I was witnessing the arrival of a journey. A life that could be made or destroyed in the mere span of four years. It sounded so much of fun. But hey, this has not yet started. The journey technically begins after I am in the premises of the college.  So be it then, waiting I am to see what life has to offer!

A question that daunts me whenever I think of it, is here again – back with vengeance. What happens to me after this? Well, I am not into the IITs or the NITs or anything worth respect. I have got into what the world calls as MIET. Now that is not something very fancy, nothing so special to brag about.  But at least I have with me the stream that I needed, and I have the ability to say a big YES to each and every hurdle that comes to me.

So, this was me, confused and terrified three-and-a-half years back. Now it has been a while since the start and I am quite close towards the end. And quoting my favorite band, Linkin Park, I could say that “The Journey is more important than the end or the start”. So I prefer to make Journey the subject of this venture I had. A stage of my life. More than a thousand days went by and it seems as if it was only yesterday when I entered this place.

There I was, looking outside the window of the train, gazing at the city. Yes it was the first for me to be here in this city. It was never in my list of places to visit. The last time I could remember the mention of this place was probably in the history textbook in context to Mangal Pandey, the initiator of the revolt of 1857. But there was something really peculiar about my observations that morning.  More than just history.

I was in the train, and I was informed that I was lucky to get into MIET, as it is a premier institute. It is hard to believe stories that your co-passengers tell you. But believing them helped me that day. Nearly half-an-hour later I was in the college itself.

At this point I must admit that I was really excited for reasons far more than one, and I was also scared as I entered as a novice into the kingdom of “seniors”. I may spend a million words to describe the daunted feeling I had back then. I was accompanied by my parents, and I saw those eyes staring at me, no matter where I was. I knew all of them were seniors and are going to break free once my parents are out. To add to the anxiety, there were special arrangements. An acquaintance was found somehow, and guess what she turned out to be a senior. I might have never wished for such a thing to happen. It seemed as I was a serving at the breakfast table. I was the easy fish to catch, rag and God knows what else was to come up next.

If you  think that I was nervous – you are right! But nothing was there for me to do than waiting endlessly for all it to happen.

The Nineties’ lad…

If you are a lad born in the early nineties’ somewhere in India, this post is meant especially for you. A peculiar generation this has been.  We have seen quite a bit. The ageless fun of the hide-n-seek to the dawn of the play stations and the X-Box. We have spent quality time playing with our parents, and cousins and friends. And as we grew up, we had some tech-stuff to spice up our teenage. Be it social networking or the usage of torrents, Internet has been such a boon.

But there is something far more important than all this. It is friendship. All of us have been taught right from our childhood days that our nature depends a lot upon the peers we find. I do agree on this, totally. Friends define the journey called life. It is peculiar how we find our friends. All of the friends we have, have a feather common to us.

If you belong to the community of the nineties’ then you must admit that wizards do exist. Furthermore there is a school call Hogwarts where you wished to join. All of us wanted to be in the Olivanders shop seeking the magical wand that chooses its master.

This is about you and me. This is the point that I would like to highlight at this state. Let me ask you a question. Do you have friend, for whom you could say that you would be complete without his/ her existence? Is it possible for you to eradicate any-one of your friends from your life? The answer is an obvious NO.

Recall your best of friends. Where did you find them: School, College, somewhere in the marketplace, or may be in your locality. Were they the only souls alive there? Were they the only option you had? NO. The world has been a gigantic showroom of the Ollivanders, just the wands here don’t look like one.  But they are equally competent as far as magical powers are concerned. Strange it is to understand how we find friends, similar to what Mr. Ollivander said regarding the wands. You do not choose your friends, they choose you. You never really know the inception of your friendship. It did not begin with that first hand-shake.

If you do not belong to the community to which I belong and have no Idea of what is the Ollivanders, it is pretty simple for you as well, just go and watch: YOU KNOW WHAT!!!

An Early Morning

Early mornings have always been peculiar to me. It has been an outcome of the late starts of day that I usually have. But today, is quite different. I am up and ready, and looking at the sunrise. A spiritual feeling creeps inside me. A feeling that makes me realize that I am still a part of Nature. Having breakfast, tea, and a morning walk on my campus are the things that I idolize for the start of the day. And yes today has been a fine day so far. However unlikely might it be for me to make this happen, waking up early is not the only thing that hits me on such occasions.  Instead it is the freshness of the day that brings peace. It provides me with some hope, motivating me to keep striving hard in the urge to success.

Another lovely morning, and there it is. The “thing” that would make me think for the rest of the day. As I mentioned earlier, there is always something special at each early start for me. Today it is the pile of old news-papers that bothers my mind. It is a habit of us-the Indians to ponder over petty issues whenever we find time; especially while we take hot beverages. Following the instinct I consume tea, and look upon am advertisement on the newspaper. It probably six months old, as I take a wild guess looking at the news which surrounds it. The advertisement was of a brand of noodles.

If you’re an Indian reading this, you know already the subject: Maggi off course. It is a funny situation to be looking at that the one remark that strikes me is – Why so serious? A dish so very delicious, has been shut denied and stuff far more dangerous is still there for the taking. It’s now that I realize the importance of studying the balance and the imbalance of the society.  And if that wasn’t enough the news that surrounded this was even more horrifying. Not that it had explicit content, but it was an article with the praise of a great man. A scientist that I idolized as a student and as a person. He is dead.

Looking at this newspaper, I felt uneasy. I did not know how unsecure I am. Life is so very uncertain. A popular brand that doomed to the ground within a matter of six months, or a scientist who lost his life. It wasn’t these incidents in particular that bothered me. It was the plans that I made for the future. Will I make it? Is my set of skill good enough for me? Is the world a safe place to be in? Is the morning haze really temporary? Oh my God, I am so confused!!!

I can-not really believe that I could be so negative at the beginning of such a lovely day.  And to add to the misery the tea is over too. I decided to go for a walk. I looked at my room-mate for some company but then I preferred not to disturb him from is sound sleep.  So I go, the cold breeze and the lovely sight of the sun made me feel a bit better. As I started my stroll, I saw an old lady strolling alongside at her very own pace. And unlike me she had some company too and it must be her grand-son, I presume. I gazed upon them silently. And I must confess here, I loved the lady’s smile. I started wondering when exactly did I see a smile as carefree as this one. She seemed so satisfied and it was evident by the wrinkles at her face. If joy exists somewhere in this planet, it must be with the kids, and surely with the lad that was walking alongside his grandmother.

This was the start I was hoping for. An inspiration from old and the new generation. How often do we find ourselves at a situation where we cannot really find a way out ending up in frustration? My way of getting out of it is to think of the experience of those I know. I think of my parents, my teachers, seniors and even my batch-mates. I get the practical approach that takes me out of this.

Then I visit the innocence of the younger ones. And I am filled with joy. No matter what happens next, I stay positive for quite some time. And nothing else matters !!!!