Standing

Listening I am, to the words they say. Aware I am, of the trap they have set for me. Trapped I am, holding on to the one track they have forced me to follow. But here I am – Standing. Standing where I have always been. Questioned by every pair of eyes. I see the brows raising to every word I speak. I see the pleasure they find to see me keeping quiet. I see the bliss in the eye whenever I fall short.  Cornered in the chamber of viciousness, wanting to see the silver in the gray cloud, I stand at a cross-way, waiting for the light that never comes.  pexels-photo-756774.jpeg

I am a person who has always been an admirer of music. It has always been an inspiration for me to keep moving forward. But for some reason that I do not know, I seem to be appreciating the minor chords a lot more these days. Is it normal for a human to do that?  Or is it me again who’s stacking up the problems that are so unnecessary?

 

Why does it feel that I am walking on the roads untraveled? And this happens to me in a time when I have the most regular routine a man can have at my age:   Work – Eat – Sleep. But what is it that keeps me awake at this hour? What is it that pushes me to put-in the extra bit of effort?

I have always been a staunch believer of Utopia. Life to me is a journey, a voyage to paradise –  A place where “All Is Well”.  Just like any other journey that you travel, you have to invest some of the energy, your hard work into it. This is what provokes me to burn the mid-night oil at the workplace.

So here I am. Waiting to see into the light from the darkness. Call me crazy, maniac or a lunatic, but I won’t stop for the fear of pain. To the bliss of life, I agree to hold the bull by its horn. I don’t really care how far can my strength take me into the war-zone, but I will rejoice every step that I take.

 

 

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The two faces

They say it is cruel world outside. Maybe that is true, but the lines must be read between those words. There is a fact that remains concealed with the statement. An indication that tells that the world outside is cruel, as compared to the on inside. The faces of the coin that do really exist, regardless of what our opinion might be. Maybe we can’t see that at all times but there are always a white side to each dark patch.

At the same time there is darkness inside of us all. And we must not ignore it. It is acceptance that could bring in a change. Extending to what the Imagine Dragons said, it is not a problem if there is a monster inside. The problem begins if you ignore the fight to let your goodness overcome it.

Life is a wave that comes with the crests and toughs- always equal in number. Your initial stand doesn’t really matter.  All that does is the belief that you can overcome the lows and shall not remain with the happiness at all times.

Time and Again

Its always the one question that keeps bothering me all the time. Every now and then, a new format, a new situation, a new angle or a new perspective to ask the same thing .

Standing in the boulevard I see a bird leaving its nest, somehow it motivates me,  to look up to the challenges , of the world outside.To get out there searching for food(necessities), to get out there facing the real world hardships, to face fear and pain,  to understand that it is the insects that I feed on, not the lion.Basically, to understand that I do have limits.  I see the question asked yet again: What are those? What are those limits that I have.

Is it in the skill that I posses to write a piece of code? Or is it in the ability to tackle the tester that claims to find a bug? Is it in the ability to play music, or may be the ability to go to the astral dimension once I hear a musical masterpiece?

Is it the lack of confidence that keeps me doubting the quality of whatever I do? Is it the fear of missing out that drives me into gatherings where I am not even comfortable?

Whenever I come across this state of mind, the only thing that comes to my mind is this lovely quote:

 

It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.

-Albus Dumbledore, from Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets

Yes its true that I don’t know what all can I do. But,I shall never chose to say no to a question that says – “Can you do it”? May be I can’t but there nothing but failure that could determine that. And in case if you don’t know that I fail only when I quit, that hasn’t been the case so far.

Staying up late this night, revisiting a habit to find optimism by my own writings, here I am – Ready to face whatever life has to offer.

Time for another extract:

I swear I’ll take it one step at a time

I maybe two miles outta line

I take the trash out of my mind

I do it one day at a time

TVF Pitchers OST – “One Step At A Time”

I don’t know if I could have a great end to the story of life, but I am toiling hard to create plenty of fabulous beginnings.