Listening I am, to the words they say. Aware I am, of the trap they have set for me. Trapped I am, holding on to the one track they have forced me to follow. But here I am – Standing. Standing where I have always been. Questioned by every pair of eyes. I see the brows raising to every word I speak. I see the pleasure they find to see me keeping quiet. I see the bliss in the eye whenever I fall short.  Cornered in the chamber of viciousness, wanting to see the silver in the gray cloud, I stand at a cross-way, waiting for the light that never comes.  pexels-photo-756774.jpeg

I am a person who has always been an admirer of music. It has always been an inspiration for me to keep moving forward. But for some reason that I do not know, I seem to be appreciating the minor chords a lot more these days. Is it normal for a human to do that?  Or is it me again who’s stacking up the problems that are so unnecessary?


Why does it feel that I am walking on the roads untraveled? And this happens to me in a time when I have the most regular routine a man can have at my age:   Work – Eat – Sleep. But what is it that keeps me awake at this hour? What is it that pushes me to put-in the extra bit of effort?

I have always been a staunch believer of Utopia. Life to me is a journey, a voyage to paradise –  A place where “All Is Well”.  Just like any other journey that you travel, you have to invest some of the energy, your hard work into it. This is what provokes me to burn the mid-night oil at the workplace.

So here I am. Waiting to see into the light from the darkness. Call me crazy, maniac or a lunatic, but I won’t stop for the fear of pain. To the bliss of life, I agree to hold the bull by its horn. I don’t really care how far can my strength take me into the war-zone, but I will rejoice every step that I take.




The two faces

They say it is cruel world outside. Maybe that is true, but the lines must be read between those words. There is a fact that remains concealed with the statement. An indication that tells that the world outside is cruel, as compared to the on inside. The faces of the coin that do really exist, regardless of what our opinion might be. Maybe we can’t see that at all times but there are always a white side to each dark patch.

At the same time there is darkness inside of us all. And we must not ignore it. It is acceptance that could bring in a change. Extending to what the Imagine Dragons said, it is not a problem if there is a monster inside. The problem begins if you ignore the fight to let your goodness overcome it.

Life is a wave that comes with the crests and toughs- always equal in number. Your initial stand doesn’t really matter.  All that does is the belief that you can overcome the lows and shall not remain with the happiness at all times.

Time and Again

Its always the one question that keeps bothering me all the time. Every now and then, a new format, a new situation, a new angle or a new perspective to ask the same thing .

Standing in the boulevard I see a bird leaving its nest, somehow it motivates me,  to look up to the challenges , of the world outside.To get out there searching for food(necessities), to get out there facing the real world hardships, to face fear and pain,  to understand that it is the insects that I feed on, not the lion.Basically, to understand that I do have limits.  I see the question asked yet again: What are those? What are those limits that I have.

Is it in the skill that I posses to write a piece of code? Or is it in the ability to tackle the tester that claims to find a bug? Is it in the ability to play music, or may be the ability to go to the astral dimension once I hear a musical masterpiece?

Is it the lack of confidence that keeps me doubting the quality of whatever I do? Is it the fear of missing out that drives me into gatherings where I am not even comfortable?

Whenever I come across this state of mind, the only thing that comes to my mind is this lovely quote:


It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.

-Albus Dumbledore, from Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets

Yes its true that I don’t know what all can I do. But,I shall never chose to say no to a question that says – “Can you do it”? May be I can’t but there nothing but failure that could determine that. And in case if you don’t know that I fail only when I quit, that hasn’t been the case so far.

Staying up late this night, revisiting a habit to find optimism by my own writings, here I am – Ready to face whatever life has to offer.

Time for another extract:

I swear I’ll take it one step at a time

I maybe two miles outta line

I take the trash out of my mind

I do it one day at a time

TVF Pitchers OST – “One Step At A Time”

I don’t know if I could have a great end to the story of life, but I am toiling hard to create plenty of fabulous beginnings.


Emotions – How do you express them? This has been a question that has been puzzling me through all these years. I don’t really know if an extensive vocabulary can be of any use.  I know that this post has been delayed – a lot. The only reason that stands is that I find it difficult to give lyricize emotions. It is hard for me to describe the way it felt to stand there in front of the “Sarojini New Boys Hostel” and taking my steps into a new chapter of my life.


Well if you are an Indian reading this, you must understand what an “Ideal College” looks like, and if in case you don’t know I suggest you to watch anything from Karan Johar’s works. It was time for a reality check. To see if the college life is really as glamorous as they claim it? Or is there an exact reverse? Or maybe something in between. It was all going through my little brain, and it was causing some serious anxiety.


I gave a look at the slip that the warden had given me. It read Room no 207.  I had always been a staunch believer of God, but never of destiny. I believed that it is we who create it, that the almighty empowers us to write our own future. A lot has changed since then. Beliefs do change, and they do it pretty quickly. Looking back on this day in the mid of August 2012, I wonder how important was this allotment to me. What role did it play in all these years? I have often faced a question, “Do you regret anything from the past”. The reply I gave to myself back then, is the reason of my survival today. No matter how bad it might have appeared, it has had some contribution to the strengths I have today.


I looked up the on the second floor and saw the rooms labelled 204, 205 and 206. I saw the stairs and used them. It was during this time that I was feeling bad that I was in MIET. I was unhappy as I wasn’t able to get into any better place. Even before any kind of a start I had a really bad feeling about the kind people I was going to meet. Climbing up the stairs, all that came into my mind was quite pessimistic. I recalled the name of my room-mate that the warden told me – Parth Shankar.  It is indeed hard to express oneself, and it gets even harder to tell about anyone else. But for Parth and Shivam Chaudhary (Inhabitant of the room next to mine) is not actually that tough. There is just one word that I can use to tell about them – Friends. I hope that nothing else could justify their roles that they play at the stage called world.

Meeting up people was amongst the highlights of the journey that I travelled in all the four years. Diversity in thoughts, appearances, approaches, skills, interests and in belief was quite astonishing.

The Inception

So it began. A Josephite (In case you don’t know it already, a Josephite is someone who studied in St. Josephs College – Allahabad) called Prateek, steps into his college life.  A journey that has been anticipated so much, has shown a faint glimpse of its arrival. Strange yet true, I was witnessing the arrival of a journey. A life that could be made or destroyed in the mere span of four years. It sounded so much of fun. But hey, this has not yet started. The journey technically begins after I am in the premises of the college.  So be it then, waiting I am to see what life has to offer!

A question that daunts me whenever I think of it, is here again – back with vengeance. What happens to me after this? Well, I am not into the IITs or the NITs or anything worth respect. I have got into what the world calls as MIET. Now that is not something very fancy, nothing so special to brag about.  But at least I have with me the stream that I needed, and I have the ability to say a big YES to each and every hurdle that comes to me.

So, this was me, confused and terrified three-and-a-half years back. Now it has been a while since the start and I am quite close towards the end. And quoting my favorite band, Linkin Park, I could say that “The Journey is more important than the end or the start”. So I prefer to make Journey the subject of this venture I had. A stage of my life. More than a thousand days went by and it seems as if it was only yesterday when I entered this place.

There I was, looking outside the window of the train, gazing at the city. Yes it was the first for me to be here in this city. It was never in my list of places to visit. The last time I could remember the mention of this place was probably in the history textbook in context to Mangal Pandey, the initiator of the revolt of 1857. But there was something really peculiar about my observations that morning.  More than just history.

I was in the train, and I was informed that I was lucky to get into MIET, as it is a premier institute. It is hard to believe stories that your co-passengers tell you. But believing them helped me that day. Nearly half-an-hour later I was in the college itself.

At this point I must admit that I was really excited for reasons far more than one, and I was also scared as I entered as a novice into the kingdom of “seniors”. I may spend a million words to describe the daunted feeling I had back then. I was accompanied by my parents, and I saw those eyes staring at me, no matter where I was. I knew all of them were seniors and are going to break free once my parents are out. To add to the anxiety, there were special arrangements. An acquaintance was found somehow, and guess what she turned out to be a senior. I might have never wished for such a thing to happen. It seemed as I was a serving at the breakfast table. I was the easy fish to catch, rag and God knows what else was to come up next.

If you  think that I was nervous – you are right! But nothing was there for me to do than waiting endlessly for all it to happen.